My unexpected summer Disney trip went from magical to tragical.

About a month ago, Brian called me into his home office. I settled into the comfy chair next to his desk for a chat, not an uncommon occurrence in a household with just the two of us there alone all day. "Hey, I have something I wanted to mention," he starts out. Ok, I'm all ears. "I have a new to me trade show coming up in June." Sure, I follow, do go on. "It's in Orlando." Ah, there it is. You know how O'hana means family? Well, in our house Orlando means Disney.

"Do you-" YES.

"want to-" YEP.

"go?" UH HUH. Affirmative. Sure do. That's an aye, luv. Sign me up.

He's offering me a free trip to Disney? Well, free to me ...except for my food for the week. And the flight, but we pay for mine on points. And tickets, but we're pass holders, so they are pre-paid. So, a mostly free trip to Disney! Do I want to go? Oh, boy DO I!

Do I?

I mean, I do, right?

We were just there in Jan/Feb and again in April, and now it's June. June is hot. Like Satan's personal steam room hot. And it's crowded. They call it peak season for a reason, folks. Wall to wall people, in the 90/100 degree air with 112% humidity, how does that not sound fun?

But, it's Disney. A bad day at Disney is always better than a good day at home - or so I've heard. I have never really tested that theory, but that's what I've been told. Usually from people having that bad day at Disney.

Sitting in his office that day, I didn't have a lot of time to decide. The trade show was coming up quick. Flights needed to be booked, a car reserved, hotels needed to be secured, etc. The arrangements are completely different if I go, vs. if he just shoots into and out of Orlando by himself. I knee jerked into the yes position and immediately started making all the standard arrangements. Going as often as we do, it's pretty easy for me to hit all my usual sites and just start confirming the bookings. There was more to this trip because we also needed to visit the Tampa area for other work related activities, and we were taking a weekend at the beach for my birthday, then moving to Orlando at the beginning of the trade show week so multiple airports, hotels and a one way car rental needed to be addressed but I'm an old hat at playing travel agent so it all came together pretty fast.

But - my DAS also needed to be renewed. DAS? What dat? Disability Access Service. It's a service that Disney has provided me in the past for more years than I can count to help me deal with the misery that my life can be, most especially when on the road. In the past I would sign up in advance, have it added to my Disney ticket and once I get to a Park for the day I could "reserve" a ride in advance and wait somewhere else, not in line with the 50k other park attendees pushing, shoving, bumping, hitting, etc all over my body. At Disney the true motto is NOT that it's "the most Magical place on Earth," it's actually "please fill in all available space."

My DAS is not a front of the line pass, I don't get to skip anything but the actual wait in the physical line. I still wait, because it's one DAS at a time. I just wait somewhere that is much less likely to kill me - not kidding. I also usually end up waiting longer than if I had stood in that physical line, because I wait AWAY from the ride, then walk to the ride and get in the Lightning Lane line and I wait there too. But, it's always been a great solution for me, it not only keeps me safe but is more comfortable for everyone that would have to wait around me.

Disney recently changed the rules for getting the DAS. They tightened the requirements so stringently that now, most of us in the disabled community have no idea who the DAS is actually for. As someone with a TBI, PTSD, GAC, MCAS, POTS, hEDS, IBS, a blood clotting disorder, a history of stroke, pulmonary embolism and DVTs and a neurodevelopmental disorder I have never not had that pass since becoming disabled. I figured I, of all people, would be able to renew my existing pass.

Oh, how wrong I was. I did my "interview" on a Zoom call with a Disney cast member and was blankly, but firmly, told no. Just FYI - that Zoom meeting starts with a list of stipulations for even attempting to get the DAS. Some of the important bullet points are that it's illegal for us poor, disabled folks to record any portion of that call - you know, for proof. You also waive your rights to file or participate in any kind of class action suit over the DAS system. Ok, we're off to a great start.

It was very obvious from the beginning that my guy was reading from a script, or looking at a list for key words or something because there was very little eye contact made. I will admit that when I listened to the options they gave me for going forward I actually started to cry. Hello TBI over reaction!

I tried to advocate for myself, I tried to not let him tell me no, but I just couldn't get my point across. Which is, sadly, part of my disability. The more stressed out I become, the worse my communication gets. Once that happens, it leads to a lot of other "system" errors. He seemed to want backup for his refusal, so he offered to bring in a "medical professional." If I had been thinking clearly I would have asked questions about that. Like an NPI number. Or credentials. As it was, I only got a first name for the woman that was about to interrogate me. I was still in tears at this point and had to start my story all over again. I tried to give a lot of details regarding what happens when things start to go south. All of it fell on deaf ears. She reinforced that I was not a good candidate for the DAS - despite having used it successfully for many years - and that I needed to get in the stand by line, have things go to crap, leave the line by fighting my way upstream, have my medical issue somewhere else, wait for it to pass, collect myself, fight my way back through the line to the point that I originally left and resume waiting. I kid you not.

She transferred me back to the original CM and I still argued. I asked if there was anyone else I could speak with. I was passed off to a Coordinator cast member - who informed me at the beginning of the call that since I was denied by the "medical professional" that there was nothing he could do and that their decision is final. But he listened. He sympathized. I really think he would have overturned the decision if his hands hadn't been tied by that so called medical person. He was a bright spot in a crappy experience, but at the end of the day Disney has now informed me that I am not the "right" kind of disabled. I can't tell you how astounded my mental health provider was.

I had a therapy appointment a few days after my encounter and I was still upset. My therapist was also pretty put off about the line of questioning, who was doing the interrogating, what records were being kept, etc. He wrote me a letter explaining all the reasons it's a bad idea for me, and everyone around me, to wait in a traditional line. But, I'm telling you now that Disney won't take it, they have already informed me of that. See, they don't want proof. They don't want records. They don't want a diagnosis. They don't want to know that I have been on disability for 20 years and even Uncle Sam doesn't want me mixing it up with the general population. But none of it matters.

They want me to buy Genie+. That was one of the "accommodations" they offered me. Not even kidding. Disney is attempting to monetize my disabled condition. When I was FIRM in the fact that I cannot wait in the stand by line for so many different reasons their solution was for me to BUY my way out of it. Here's the problem with that...

1. Genie+ costs. A lot. Plus everyone in the party that wants to ride together has to have it. Now we're talking about $50 a day extra for the two of us to even try to get close to doing what I could on my last several trips.

2. Each Genie+ day allows one ride per attraction. I have so very few things I can do, I like to do some of them repeatedly. I will never ride Guardians of the Galaxy, but I might want to do Pirates 3 times. Now I can't unless I Genie+ one time and standby 2 times. Which, I can't stand by - so that's out.

3. Genie+ return windows are one hour. So, if I get a return time from 1:15pm to 2:15pm and I'm having "an episode" I'm just out. I lost my spot and just have to go on. With DAS there is no end on the return time. I can go to that same ride anytime after 1:15pm and just ride it when I feel up to it. I can't take another DAS until I ride Pirates OR release it and choose something else.

4. Genie+ sells out. Both for the day and individual rides. I like to ride Frozen Ever After. It's mostly gentle and easy, so I really like to try to get that one in on my Epcot day. Frozen Ever After is one of the rides that books WAY out into the day, so if I'm at Epcot right now and want to ride FEA the next "appointment" might be 6 hours out. I won't still be in the Park in 6 hours. I've never done a 6 hour Park day. So, I guess I'm just out of luck on riding Frozen, since the stand by times are typically well over an hour.

I now find myself in the position of DREADING going to Disney World - an emotional place that I never thought that I would be. We debated trying to cancel our annual passes, but Brian doesn't want to do that. He wants to try to call back and talk to someone else about getting my DAS reinstated, but I'm not sure I can go through that interrogation again. Being judged on the amount and type of disability I have just feels icky to me, especially since I know that the first denial is now on my "permanent record" and I am already starting off the second conversation from a negative position.

I have about 24 hours to decide what I am going to do, as we are expected to arrive in Orlando tomorrow.

For the first time in forever,

there's no magic, there's no fun

For the first time in forever

Disney's said that I'm no one.

And I know it's totally crazy

To think they'd take this stance

But for the first time in forever

I haven't got a chance